Friendships can make or break you. The right friends will lift you higher, while the wrong ones can slowly drag you away from your deen, your goals, and even your peace of mind. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “A person is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” (Abu Dawood)
So, sister, are your friendships taking you closer to Jannah or away from it? Let’s dive into six common mistakes Muslim girls make in friendships, and how to fix them ASAP!
Mistake 1: Befriending the Wrong People
The Fix: Choose Friends Who Strengthen Your Iman
The Prophet (PBUH) beautifully compared good and bad company: “The example of a good companion in comparison with a bad one is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith. The musk seller will either offer you some, sell it to you, or you will enjoy its good smell. But the blacksmith will either burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Ask yourself: Do my friends remind me of Allah? Do they encourage me to become a better Muslimah? If not, it’s time to reevaluate. True friends will support you in your deen, not distract you from it.
Mistake 2: Gossiping & Backbiting
The Fix: Speak Good or Stay Silent
Gossip might seem fun, but did you know it’s one of the biggest sins? Allah warns in the Quran, “Do not backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would detest it!” (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12)
Before saying something about someone, ask: Would I say this if they were standing in front of me? If not, don’t say it at all. A true friend doesn’t ruin someone’s reputation, she protects it!
Mistake 3: Not Setting Boundaries
The Fix: Value Yourself and Your Time
Some friends may take advantage of your kindness, overstep personal limits, or lead you to unhealthy habits. Islam teaches us to maintain balance. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Give your brother his due right while keeping your own self-respect.” (Tirmidhi)
If a friendship is exhausting your energy or making you compromise your values, set firm yet respectful boundaries. It’s okay to say “no” when needed!
Mistake 4: Neglecting Deen in Friendships
The Fix: Pray Together, Grow Together
Your friendships shouldn’t be just about hanging out, shopping, or chatting online. Islam should be the foundation! The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Allah will give shade to seven types of people on the Day of Judgment, and one of them is two people who love each other for Allah’s sake.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Make time to remind each other of prayers, attend Islamic lectures together, and discuss Hadiths. A friendship rooted in faith will last beyond this life, straight into Jannah!
Mistake 5: Holding Grudges & Not Forgiving
The Fix: Be Quick to Forgive and Let Go
Disagreements happen, but holding onto resentment is harmful. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days.” (Bukhari)
If you have a misunderstanding with a friend, don’t let it fester. Talk it out, forgive, and move on. Life is too short to carry negativity in your heart.
Mistake 6: Prioritizing Friends Over Family
The Fix: Strengthen Family Bonds First
Yes, friends are important, but never at the cost of your family. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their families.” (Tirmidhi)
If you’re spending hours chatting with friends but ignoring your mom’s calls or avoiding helping your siblings, it’s time to reset priorities. Family is your first responsibility, and no friendship should come before that.
Final Thoughts: Time for a Friendship Audit!
Friendships should bring peace, not stress. They should push you toward Jannah, not pull you away from it. Take a moment today to reflect:
- Do my friends make me a better Muslim?
- Do they support me in my deen?
- Do I encourage them to do good?
If the answer is yes, Alhamdulillah! If not, it’s time to make changes. Don’t be afraid to distance yourself from negative influences. A righteous friend is a blessing, and a toxic one is a test. Choose wisely!